As I sat in church on Wednesday night (yes, I'm posting this a few days late, sue me), singing to the Lord in praise; at one point, I opened my eyes and looked over at my pastor's daughter. She was lifting her hands up in praise as she sang, totally lost in her love for our Lord. It was a beautiful thing to witness. I'm ashamed to admit that, for a brief moment, I envied her father. If it is beautiful to me to see a child lost in her love for the Lord, how much more beautiful of a sight must it be for her father?
I want that. I want it so bad it hurts. Adding to my distress is the possibility that a family may not be what the Lord wants for me. I honestly have no indication that that is the case, other than the fact that I'm 31 years old and single. But as I now find myself at a point in my life where I am seeking to know His will for me, with every intention of carrying it out, well, it's a possibility I must now consider.