"No thank you, I'm not much of a dancer." Now, that's what I said. What I thought was, "Two things, sweetie. One, I do not dance (if my ex-wife tells you different, I assure you she can't prove anything). Two, if I did dance, it would most assuredly not be to this crap."
I had to pretend to like this stuff two months ago when I DJ'd pretty much this exact same party. I have no such requirements being imposed upon my taste tonight. I can sulk quietly in the corner if I so choose.
Parties seem to turn me into a judgemental jerk. I find myself looking at people and making snap judgements about them:
- You! Spandex is a priviledge, not a right.
- You! The sooner you quit snapping your fingers while you dance, the sooner I can stop feeling embarrassed on your behalf, ya spaz.
- And you! You're hot, but stop freaking on your sister! Seriously, that's just plain gross.
Yeah. I can be a jerk sometimes. Like when I'm pretty much the only person at the party who's not having any fun.
I really felt the loneliness tonight. I mean, of course I've been conscious of the fact that I have no social life whatsoever since I moved back out here, but tonight I really felt it. As I sat alone at that party, all I could think about was how I really needed a Ben and/or a Crystal to commiserate with, or a Dan and/or a Dave to mock a few party-goers with, and then go home and jam with.
But, for now, at least, my work is here. And theirs is there. And alone I shall remain, sulking quietly in the corner. For now.